Sunday, June 27, 2010

"Your life is over when you have a baby"

Having a baby was a wonderful and amazing time in my life. The excitement of being pregnant, and becoming a mother was something I could have never imagined...

Before & during my pregnancy, I can't tell you how many times I heard this phrase: "Your life is over once you have kids" ... and I can't tell you how aggravating that phrase is and how much it really made me want to prove it wrong.
Just like before I got married, I heard the phrase: "Once you get married, your life is over" - Hmmm, I am married to my best friend and my life is really incredible with my husband... it gets better every day. So I guess whoever said that was in a bad marriage perhaps?!

Yes, you completely give up "normalcy" once the baby is born. This can be a very difficult adjustment to make. Taking care of a baby is an enormous adjustment - at least for me it is! I never was around babies and never had to take care of a newborn before... it is a huge learning experience. Some days, it feels as though my whole world has been turned upside down as I adjust my daily life to fit my baby's needs. Eventually, I know I'll get some of my own life rhythm back.

Julianna is 5 weeks old and I am finally getting the hang of getting out the house & doing things with her. I'm also getting the hang of adjusting 'my time' around her needs... that was the hardest thing for me, since I was always used to doing what I wanted, when I wanted it before. For years, I never wanted to have a baby because I could admit I was too 'greedy' & couldn't imagine making sacrifices for a baby (at least I can admit it!).

Being a parent is hard and it is a daily struggle to try and get things right (or at least what seems right) - and sometimes, it is downright hard. I know not everyone goes through this, or maybe they do? I know this is kind of like the taboo subject that no one likes to talk about because no one wants to admit they are scared or not always happy after the baby is home. It doesn't instantly mean I have postpartum depression - so let's not jump on that bandwagon OK? Some days I feel so happy & on top of the world ... Some days I feel very alone & overwhelmed. I do know this is normal for first time mothers, and as you adjust, every day gets easier & feels more like the "normal" I am looking for.

I am determined not to fall victim to the "Your life is over when you have kids" doubters.
I do have some great inspiration - My very good friend Katee always manages to still live her life even though she has kids. (She has 2 now with a 3rd on the way). With her first born Bianca (my god daughter), we went to Niagara Falls when she was 2 months old. She doesn't ever use her kids as an excuse to not do something. So, when I have a fear of doing something with Julianna, or I'm not sure what to do, one of the first things I ask myself is "What would Katee do?" ... It helps when you have friends that can give you positive guidance and positive opinions. I have another very good friend Carol, that has 2 daughters, who also gives me the best advice in the world as well! Never once have they told me my life will be over once I have kids. It is possible to live your life and have kids, they are proof of it. I know I have other friends that fit that model too, but those are 2 'friend' mothers that I look up to for 'kid' advice :)

When I look at Julianna and hold her, I can't imagine my life without her. Nothing makes me happier than to hold her and love her... and in no way do I ever wish I didn't have her. All I am saying is how this whole experience has changed my life in ways I never imagined, and I am confident that I can still have a "life" & have a baby! Oh and by the way, my dog still gets plenty of love too! Thank you to my friends (for their advice & support) for getting me through this confusing & sometimes overwhelming time!


  1. I couldn't agree with you more nor could I imagine my life w/o my children. They teach me as much as I teach them!!! Not every day is easy, but I wouldn't change a thing!!!! You're an awesome mom!!!!!!

  2. When did you get so wise, Skye? I'm so proud of you. You are a wonderful woman, daughter, wife and mother.

  3. Skye I couldn't agree with you more. There are times when we have had to change are plans because maybe bri had a bad day or it just wouldn't go the way we wanted but very seldom do we cater to only her we still do our everyday things and we still go places There is also a time and place for kids think people just need to figure these things out. I have decided my self if you cater to them in the begining you better be ready to cater to them forever. I love your blog and it is awesome to have inspiration even though i have been a mom for over a year you still inspire me

  4. Thanks Erin, Mom & Cathy - That makes me feel good! Writing the blog is a nice way to release... I am not lucky enough to have friends & family around me 24/7, so it helps to get things out this way - and to hear such nice feedback is very inspirational to me too! :)

  5. Good for u - Things change but its never worse. As she gets older and more active and starts into dance, or softball or softball or softball or softball (get the idea), It gets more hectic - That ALSO means u make new friends in your area who have the same interests. Kids really DO make your life better - Crazy at times but never boring! xoxox


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